Monday, July 11, 2011

Bad Wife Moment

Lynden has been having these crazy reactions to the sun lately, which sucks for so many different reasons.  On Saturday we went to the park with my mom and they played on the park for just over an hour.  Lynden was wearing his hat and sunglasses and lathered in sunscreen.  Yet, when we got home his heat rash showed up, as it does anytime we're in the sun.  It's super annoying since everything I've read about it says you can't really prevent it, sigh. 

Because he also skipped his nap on Saturday I wasn't surprised when he started to get really cranky around 5:30.  By 7 we had him in bed (an hour earlier than normal).  When we woke up, crying, around 7:30 I went in to check on him and knew it was not going to be good.  Lynden was radiating heat.  Took his temperature instantly and wasn't surprised when it stopped at 39 (102.2).  So, I stripped him down, gave him a dose of Tylenol, stood outside in the cool air and got him to take as much fluids as he would take. 

It took quite a while but he finally fell asleep for the night (around 10:30) and slept til 8:30 the next morning.  He needed the sleep but it seemed to really mess him up on Sunday.  He refused his nap (although he laid in his bed for almost 2 hours) and was just "off" all day (the fever slowly dropped through out the day).  We thought we'd have an easy time with him at bedtime, we thought wrong. 

He woke a few times before 10 and seemed to settle down when Danny went to sleep in Lynden's bed just after 10.  I went to bed at 10:30 and had just drifted off when Danny came in to get me because Lynden wanted mommy.  Ok, fine, swap beds and then spent the next 2 hours trying to get Lynden to sleep.  Around 2 Alyssa woke up for a feeding so I went back to our bed while Danny went in with Lynden.  At 3 Lynden came into our room and wanted to sleep in our bed.  That's okay with me but he knows there is 1 rule: he MUST be quiet so he doesn't wake his sister.  Well, he woke her up so I sent him back to his room (in hysterics) to sleep with daddy.  After getting her back to sleep and finally drifting off myself Danny came in to ask me to go and sleep with Lynden. 

This is where my bad wife moment came about.  I understand why he asked, Lynden was being difficult again and Danny had to get up for work at 5:30 so he was hoping for 90 minutes of sleep before he had to get up and go to work.   I understood this when he asked me, but it was not my first thought.  My first thought was "I JUST got back to sleep.... again" so I responded to his request with "are you kidding me?".  Honestly, that's what I said.  I followed it up with "Alyssa will need to feed again soon", which was half true.  After her first feed she will normally want to comfort of a boob anytime she wakes up; she doesn't eat, just wants the contact.  I then rolled over and went back to sleep.  I knew Danny wasn't happy with my answer but he went back to bed with Lynden without saying anything.  I don't think he kissed me good-bye this morning (he may have but I was too tired to realize it).

This morning I woke up feeling bad about it.  He works hard and long hours with the rare "day off" and I use that term loosely because his days off are crammed full of things we just don't have time for when he is working.  Add in a move in 3 weeks and any spare moment he has is spent packing and going through stuff.  But none of that stops me from being slightly jealous that he gets a sleep in day every now and again (logically I know he has earned it and needs it), which makes the few hours I get at night of uninterrupted sleep even more important to me. 

It's tough to find the happy medium.  Danny works 2 jobs, 6-7 days a week with a few days being 15 hour days.  He's exhausted and worn out and when he comes home there is no down time for him.  Lynden's on his right away to play and I'm on him about things we need to get done. 

I'm a stay at home mom and the "theory" is I have all the time in the world.  I'm the first to admit that I don't get all the things done that I need to get done in a day, but I have 2 kids and they take up a lot of time and energy.  I also don't get to use the reasoning "I have to work" to justify getting some extra shut eye in a day.  My "job" is 24/7 365 days a year.  I don't get a "day off".  And I've been on the other side of the fence, I worked while Danny stayed home with Lynden and even then I didn't get a "day off".  It was full of errands, laundry, outings, and so on, usually making my day off busier than the days I worked. 

So, where is the happy medium? 

As for Lynden: the fever has broken completely and besides being a little tired today (I can't imagine why) he's in good spirits.  I'm lotioning his rash so he won't itch it and keeping him hydrated.  We see the doctor next week to see if he can tell me why this happens every time Lynden's in the sun.  It's going to be a shady summer between a toddler who can't be in the sun without breaking into a rash and a baby who can't be in direct sunlight. 

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